Gag writer on tour: Review

My Night with a Domme
17 April , The Grapes, Bath 

I have a theory that the vast majority of us are at least curious about kink. I am at least,
which is why I find myself in what looks like a large sitting room above The Grapes pub
in Bath on a Friday evening.
Every seat is taken, meaning there are about 30 of us; a mixed bunch, though I am a little
surprised to note that the majority are women and I wonder what has brought us together.
Sociological curiosity? Prurience? Career advice? Ms Todd has little doubt; after a brief
introduction by her husband (!) she begins by telling us that the city is full of perverts:
“If I stand in the middle of Bath and throw a brick, it’s sure to hit a pervert.” I am by no
means offended by this since I am only here on business for a few days and, judging by
the laughter and the knowing looks, neither are the inhabitants of the Royal City.
After a few more general comments, she places a doubled strand of pearls around her
neck, which signals the beginning of the show, she tells us. And what a show it is!
There is no stage, so she simply stands in front of us. She is dressed in what I take to be
the uniform of her profession; not the body-hugging leather catsuit of popular
imagination but a very short skirt over fishnet tights and stiletto heels. Above is a simple
green satin blouse, set off by the aforementioned pearls. She carries one of the tools of
her trade: a long vicious-looking cane with a crook handle, which she flexes reflectively
as she tells her stories and occasionally swishes to punctuate some point or other. She
certainly has my attention.
Ms Todd is an excellent story teller and, for an hour, she satisfies all the possible needs I
mentioned above. We learn about how and why she became a sex worker (or ‘slag’ as she
disarmingly says once or twice). She has some very funny stories about some of her
clients and this could easily have become pure stand up comedy, but she also reflects on
the very human needs that bring them to her. There is, too, a little advice on how to
become a domme, of which ‘there is much more to be found in my book’ and I’m sure I
detect an increased amount of attention from some quarters.
As to the prurience, I can only speak for myself. Downstairs in the pub afterwards, she is
surrounded by audience members congratulating her and asking questions. I make my
way shyly towards her and mumble something about how much I’d enjoyed the show and
ask if she’d sign my copy of her book (My Body, My Business), rather than asking for her
card as I’d intended. Perhaps next time. A ‘fanboy’ at my age, good grief!